ALTHOUGH THE DEMOGRAPHIC ISSUES no longer hold true, for many generations the residents in the western states of America could trace their ancestry to hardy pioneer stock who made the journey from St. Louis across the plains and to California, or Oregon, or Washington, in a Conestoga wagon. In a time before cars, in a time when the transcontinental railroad was just an entrepreneurial dream, in a time when the land was hostile to travelers for many reasons, these visionaries sold everything they had and thrust themselves forward into a new life. Such a life demanded a 100% commitment and forged a bond between peoples who previously had nothing in common, but now literally depended on one another for sustenance, for success, and even for life itself. Leaving the past behind, shoulder to shoulder they set out for a new hope, a promise of a land of their own. Such is the history of my own California ancestors, the earliest of whom came in 1842, and were part of the Bear Flag revolt in 1846.
The wagons were pulled by teams of animals; sometimes horses, sometimes mules, but most commonly by teams of oxen. The oxen were slower, but for the long journey they were steady and powerful. Not only would it not do to mix a team as to type, say horse and oxen together, but also a team of like animals had to be balanced in size and capability. Each had to shoulder its load and pull evenly, and each had to have leadership towards a common destination, or the wagon and its contents and people would have a difficult journey, and in some circumstances would be unable to complete the journey.
So it is with Jesus-followers. We are all on a long and difficult journey called ‘life.’ This life demands takes 100% commitment. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 3:13-14)
Our spiritual journey through the world surrounding us is in its own way even more difficult than our ancestors encountered on their way to a new land. On our journey, we also travel with many companions, some by choice, and some by chance and circumstance. We have a great deal of control over those with whom we travel by choice, if we would but exercise such choice. We have somewhat less control over circumstantial companions, which makes it all the more important to carefully examine changing events that bring new people into our lives, and whether or not we are actually heading to the same destination. In either case, the Bible cautions us: “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Cor. 15:33) Also, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Pro. 13:20) Even more so, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)
All of us can look back and easily identify unwise, sometimes disastrously unwise close relationships that we chose and which ultimately and inexorably exacted a price. It didn’t ‘just happen.’ We must take responsibility, or we will face similar consequences in the future. Sometimes the price was immense in the form of life-long consequences. When it was thankfully over, and time had given objectivity, we could but shake our heads in disbelief, and murmur internally, “How did I ever let that happen?” The answer is usually, “A little bit at a time, until it was too late.”
Admonishing us especially to not be yoked with unbelievers, Paul, quoting from the Old Testament, says: “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Cor. 6:17-18).
We cannot in good conscience abandon all friendships that the Lord engages us in by his sovereign design. We have a duty to the gospel, and Jude says, “Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy.” (Jude 22-23a) But he also says that we need to exercise caution for ourselves, dealing with such relationships, “Mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.” (Jude 23b) Choose your closest companions well; the journey is long, and requires both choosing and being good and reliable companions. We need each other to help us all get to our mutual destination, so that each of us can get to our own.
Q. Am I co-dependent to a ‘dangerously unwise ‘companion?’
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