Family Ties

WE DON’T GET TO PICK our birth family, or our place of origin, nor the time in which we appear in this world. We are not sure which of these is happenstance, and which aspects God individually assigns for each of us. It’s probably a better choice to leave that mystery for future revelation. In our assigned family, not many of us experienced the wisdom that Solomon unsuccessfully tried to pass down to his son Rehoboam. “My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” (Pro. 4:20-22, 25-27)

But, here we are, and our training on our way forward through this world is subject to all the hopefully serendipitous aspects of and since our birth. These heavily influence our outcomes at each stage of development all the way through to maturity and beyond. Nature and nurture are both at work in the processes that produce the core values of our identity, and those values are the foundation for both the choices and outcomes of our decisions. Every choice has an outcome; actions produce results. But these initial shaping forces are not the only agencies at work either against or for us.

Perhaps we were fortunate, and were born into and brought up in a family unit with a father and mother present, in a country of great freedom, and at a time of great opportunity. Or, perhaps not. Maybe our mother and father intentionally tried to raise us and our siblings with values of honesty, integrity, and work ethic. Maybe they didn’t. Their hopefully positive attempts, whatever they were, did not alone prevent us from some significant errors of choice as we grew, and for all of us there were some negative consequences because of that.

Beyond the significant fact that there is an enemy of our souls, two other factors are always at play in those negative outcomes: first, what our parents taught us was limited by their own nature, nurture, and development; second, if we listened, and whether or not we chose to follow the instructions. As we reflect on such things, we pause to consider the thought that the nurture we received was probably mostly adequate, but that the underlying nature is and remains a determinant that lies outside our juvenile conscious control. Adam and Eve, afflicted by the outcomes of negative choice, became the progenitors of human nature—specifically, our sin nature—and we are the inheritors of their legacy. It’s in our DNA.

It is a dilemma that afflicts us all. The Apostle Paul knew it well: “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Rom. 7:21-24)

Paul’s question was rhetorical; he understood that God had solved these issues in the Messiah: “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:25) Through the born-again process (cf. John 3:3-7) that all true Christ-followers understand, our very nature is changed; we are made anew in the original pattern of our nature established at the beginning: “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen. 1:27)

But here’s some good news. We can choose the family of our new birth through Jesus (cf. John 3:5-7). John gives us this insight: “To all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.” (John 1:12) In doing this, we are adopted into the family of God, where all the promises of new possibilities become realities. This is a great comfort to those whose birth family has been difficult, for “God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing.” (Psa. 68:6) And we can choose the realm of the kingdom of heaven as the place in which we reside. Jesus said “If that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:2b) And we can choose the revelatory in-dwelling knowledge of our eternal existence, which nurtures our new nature.

We choose all of this in choosing Jesus. This is all because our heavenly Father has, in his sovereign will, chosen us in the mystery of the elect. Of this, Paul says “In the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’ there they will be called ‘children of the living God.’” (Rom. 9:26) And it is with this gift of understanding of our inherent and now-quickened new nature that the power of our choices assumes not just new outcomes, but entire new dimensions of existence. It is Jesus who says to us, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, the meek, the merciful, the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (Matt. 5:3-8)

Both spiritually and practically, our first choice is to not just listen, but to truly hear: “Pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.” Our second and closely linked choice is to obey from the heart : “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Pro. 3:5-8)

Q. Do the ropes that tied Jesus to the cross tie me to the family of God?

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