PICTURE THE SCENE AT THE TOMB and shortly after on Sunday morning. Review, not in your mind but in your spirit, the different emphases in the various Gospel accounts. Matthew says that Mary Magdalene and another Mary, charged by an angel, “afraid yet filled with joy, ran to tell his disciples.” (Matt. 28:8) He does not address some of the events that the other gospel writers record about the other disciples’ struggles in belief; instead, we simply see them next at a mountain in Galilee, where, “When they saw him, they worshiped him.” Matt. 28:17) This is a very straightforward recounting of the power at the center of Christian belief: Jesus rose from the dead, and they worshiped him.
But we know, from the three other gospel accounts, that it was not that simple of a process for those who had not seen. In Mark’s version, the Marys, and also Salome, are still overcome by this theophany, “trembling and bewildered” (Mark 16:8), but when Mary Magdalene tells the disciples that “Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.” (Mark 16:11) Luke says that “the women found the stone rolled away, and suddenly two ‘men that gleamed like lightning’ reminded them what Jesus had told them earlier: ‘The Son of Man must be crucified, and on the third day be raised again.’” (Luke 24:1-7) It is now “Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them” who relate what has happened at the empty tomb “to the apostles.” (Luke 24:10) In Luke’s version, it is Peter alone who runs to the tomb, and when “he saw the strips of linen lying by themselves, and he went away, wondering to himself what had happened.” (Luke 24:12b)
It is from John’s version that we get a more detailed insight into the struggle for belief for those hearing the account of the resurrection. Here it is Mary Magdalene, alone, who “saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.” (John 20:1) She runs to tell the Apostles. (John 20:2) And here, it is both Peter and John that run back to the tomb, with John arriving first to see “the strips of linen lying there.” (John 20:5) In this account, it is only John at this moment who “saw and believed.” (John 20:8) A later scribe emends the original text, adding in parenthesis, “They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.” (John 20:9) It is now that Jesus appears to Mary, and calls her by name. “Mary.” (John 20:16a) And it is now that her own torn and bleeding heart mends – we hear her cry out from the most sacred inner space, “Rabboni!” (John 20:16b)
But Thomas doubts: “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25b) And Peter is strangely silent in this period of John’s gospel. Both of them are struggling with aspects of belief. Thomas needs proof, some sign or wonder to overcome his rational mind. Peter is trying unsuccessfully to see past his failure. Prior to Jesus’ arrest and crucifixion, he had boldly proclaimed “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.” (Luke 22:33) But his inner convictions were shattered by his own failures – his ideal self has been confronted by his real self and found false. We know the story: the rooster crows, and Peter stumbles from the courtyard; “he went outside and wept bitterly.” (Luke 22:62)
Jesus appears to Thomas, who is able to see and touch him, and then exclaims, “My Lord and my God.” (John 20:28) Present at so many events emanating from the empty tomb, and even the sight of Jesus and Thomas together, Peter must walk in soul-shredded belief a while longer. It is only after he has partially pieced his heart together and returns to fishing, potentially as the way he will live the rest of his life, that Jesus relents. For Jesus, it is not a matter of punishment, but corrective discipline. In John’s gospel, it is once again a miraculous catch of fish that captures the frayed threads of Peter’s picture of the future and weaves them, in an instant, into a sudden new hope. Peter still needs some event outside himself to initiate a necessary response, one that will enable him to move past doubt to belief – this not belief in and of Jesus, but that he could be forgiven his transgression. John’s words are that trigger-mechanism for Peter, and his damaged faith turns to action. “It is the Lord,” says John. (John 21:7a) Whereupon Peter “wrapped his outer garment around him and jumped into the water.” (John 21:7b) And it is now, after Peter reaches shore, that Jesus, after emphasizing the point “Feed my sheep” three times (cf. John 21:15-18), that he hears the words that put his heart back together: “Follow me!” (John 21:19)
We move down the timeline of the early church now, two decades and more, to Paul’s admonishment of the Galatian church. The problems for Christ-followers remain the same, and doubt and unbelief have strained the culture of the faith of the church community. Paul warns them, “You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified. I would like to learn just one thing from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh? Have you experienced so much in vain—if it really was in vain? So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?” (Gal. 3:1-6)
Faith and belief are incredibly powerful motivators in life, no matter what the endeavor. Faith and belief in Jesus are critical to the Christ-follower’s life of every age. We walk, you and I, in incredibly trying times, and if we rely only on our own reason, as Thomas did, or our own strength, as Peter definitely did, we eventually run out of our own energies rising from our will. Jesus’ succinct words call out in a wisdom and power from beyond our ken: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” (John 20:29b) And as we grapple with this, trying to meld faith and belief, reason and will, consider again Paul’s words: ‘Before your very eyes Jesus Christ was clearly portrayed as crucified.’ The testimony of the gospels has made this clear to us – let nothing separate us from this view, for it is only through this lens that we can make sense of the world around us.
Q. What sign or wonder must I have to quiet my ever-questioning mind?
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